Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. Any life, no matter how attenuated and perplexing it may be, is made up of a single moment - the moment in which a man finds out, once and for all, “ who is he¿ ”. Today when I look up at the memories of yesteryears, when I try to recollect my reminiscence, I am indicted to a world of plangent feelings mixed with days of hope and despair. It is only by considering these that I can write a sentence that is good to look at and good to listen too.
It was a woman who drove me to write, and I never had the courtesy to thank her. There are also some Men who have taught me a lot to learn out of life. They are the one who changed my philosophy and helped me to bring out a new principle out of life. They are the one, who taught me that, "There are no mistakes, only lessons". In everyone's life, at times, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. Because some people come and go, some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we never, are the same.
A man’s life starts only when he believes in himself, and this assertion for the divulgence of veracity elaborates only with his experiences, no matter whether his experiences are good or bad. My evaluation for self started way back during my formative years. It was only that period when something shocked me for the first time and made me to ponder over things with a different perspective. To become from what I was to what I am took a lot of my time, courage and discipline. Maybe because I never wanted to accept that I am growing and that time is leaving behind traces on its path. But early or lately a time came, when I was forced to reside to my gauche thoughts and to ponder over how life goes on.
It really isn’t a matter of life and death but all together it is something else. Your chattels are certainly not the materialistic things that you possess but they are the people around you. And the biggest failure of anyone’s life is when he becomes a liability for his assets. And moreover apart from all the exultation and distress there are many more things that revolve around us to make this life prettier or hideous. It is only how you want to see the orb, as an optimist or as a pessimist. One thing we should always try to follow is that; respect an existence when it is in front of us, not when the entity has departed to a world beyond horizons. Because, give and take does not mean we cannot be poignant enough to give at first. It only by this we can make sure that not even any minion hinders the path of progress of a strong relationship.
God never asks anyone whether he will accept life; it is not a man’s choice. He has to take it; the only option to him is, how. My Må always say, few men are like stars, who generate their own light while others reflect the brilliance they receive. It is not wealth, nor ancestry, but honourable conduct, and a noble disposition that make a man great. I am sure that acceptance of other person’s greatness won’t make me weak and that is the one thing that helps me to attain some judiciousness towards life. I always tried hard to gather some sagacity towards the acquaintances of the human repertoire. To understand what is that makes people bound together, in joys and sorrows, in pleasures and pains, in calm and angst, in conquest and subjugation, or virtually in each and every facet of living. And what I end up today is that it is only ‘You’, which makes a ‘Me’ in myself. A person is only an expression of what he wants to become or it can be said that he is just an impersonation of deems of his sage.
I had to reach a position to ponder over things, when Må fell ill, and a time came when I was not confident about her recovery. And from then what I was and what I became is hard for me to explain. For all the experiences that I have pleated provides me enough knowledge to dissect both situations and people. It was only then that I learned that no matter what goes on with you and your life, a man should or a man must be prolific enough to evaluate things passing him by. All my experiences erudite many things and have often told me to make good rules in life. Of all the judicious and sometimes reckless things that my experiences have provided me, reminds me that, what seems to be preposterous is sometimes just an esoteric acquaint. It is only the perception towards the veracity and the gut to acknowledge the nix that makes a complete man.
From my early childhood I was a very reserve and introvert kind of a personality. I used to talk only when it was of utmost necessity. My younger brother and myself share a seven years difference, so even he came to me as a puerile affair rather than a chum. During times of celebrations and festivity in my clan, I always avoided to make an appearance. For what reason I don’t know but what I do believe was that only isolation can make me schismatic. Now things have changed, an ardent follower of nihilism is turning to get more optimistic for his entire recrudescence.
All those asinine achievement of mine used to asphyxiate my Må’s tender soul and for me it used to give a gallant glee. But sometimes now I feel I was wrong and you all are the people who made me feel so. I will be highly indebted to god (the one thing in my life that I do not want to believe in) for you people as an asset for my existence. Where ever I may end in my life, wherever I leave to and where ever I position myself but you will be oblivion to be felt after your absence. The days shared with you people are the ones that will guide me to pleasant mood whenever I will feel staid in future.
Avowal:
I never came here with very big ideas in my mind & with almost no dreams for the future; the only thing I used to collect in my reverie was face of my Må. But, a whole new story was to be written; Ashish crawled into my subsistence just like a blessing to me. Along with, I was bequeathed to have all those who now heap a new ‘Léturángér’ in this world. Never knew that this place will give me anything precious for my future. Now, you all share a position in my heart that is impalpable for words to explain. With all the esoteric feeling that I posses for you all, I sum up these snug thoughts and pray that may this year and the coming ones be filled with all the immeasurable pleasures of life.
[Published in Pratishtha - 2001 (Annual Magazine of Prestige Institute of Management and Research, Indore)]
